At last month’s Parent to Parent admission event at Green Acres School, prospective parents interacted with current parents to find out more about our school and community. It was a valuable opportunity for them (and for me) to hear directly from those who know best. I was moved by many of the comments our current parents made; one parent of a new student talked in a particularly gripping way about how her child had experienced a complete turnaround here at Green Acres. In only a few short months, her daughter had developed a positive attitude about school and learning, had established positive friendships with peers and relationships with her teachers, and was “doing beautifully” in all subjects. When asked by a prospective parent how this transformation had occurred, she talked about how our teachers had met her daughter where she was as a student and had engaged and challenged her with “meaningful” school work. What she emphasized more than anything else was that our teachers took the time to get to know her daughter well.
Similarly, at a recent Community Dinner, I was almost moved to tears as I watched a current parent’s eyes well up as she described meeting with her daughter’s Lower School teacher—and realizing how well this teacher knew her child.
There’s a lot that goes into our Green Acres “recipe.” In a previous blog entry entitled “Partners in Learning: Why Our Students Call Us by Our First Names,” I discuss how the practice of calling teachers by their first names helps us to break down barriers and engender mutual respect between teachers and students. I argue that respecting children “leans on [ . . . ] the genuine interest that teachers take in students and their ideas and concerns, and on the opportunities students have to make choices and take initiative.” Respecting and knowing children as individuals is at the center of our success: it motivates them to achieve academically and athletically, enables them to develop a positive self-image, instills in them the senses of wonder and agency, and helps them to become the kind of people who consider the needs of others and of society as a whole. I wish that every student in every school had teachers who knew them and cared for them as our teachers do.
Earlier this week, three 5th grade students stopped by my office to invite me to their upcoming performance of Tuck Everlasting. They had made me an elaborately decorated invitation and wanted to deliver it in person. (It now is proudly taped to my door!) Their comfort in interacting with me and their enthusiasm for a project such as this that was tailored to their interests are the result, I believe, of this same ingredient: the degree to which students feel known and heard here at Green Acres.
A few weeks ago, one of the 1st graders came by my office to give me a beautiful little candle, no longer than an inch. Her mother sent me the following email that evening—one that really made me smile:
Hi Neal:
When XXX got in the car this afternoon she said, “We made candles today out of beeswax and I gave one to Neal. I think he has a hard job, being the boss of the school. Dealing with all of those kids can’t be easy—I mean you can hardly deal with two.” And all this time I thought I was a pretty relaxed parent . . . ! At least you know she recognizes your contributions!
The fact that a 1st grader even is thinking about my responsibilities says a lot about the value of a school where children are known as individuals: in feeling known, they also develop empathy for others.
These precious interactions with children—for teachers and even for non-teaching staff members like me—bring great joy. At this time of year especially, as so much isn’t going well in the world around us, I’m particularly grateful to be in such caring, knowing relationships with children, and to be a part of a healthy, positive community that is focused on bringing healthy, positive young people into a world in need of them.
ODES TO JOY 